Here are some older poems I thought I'd share

I decided to put some of my poems on Hello Poetry and came across a few poems that are older but that I've never posted here before.  Some are angry, some are hopeful, and some are better as spoken word.  Anyway, I thought I'd post a few.  I know no one really reads this anyway, it's mostly just for me, but I hope anyone who does, enjoys and remembers these are words from different time periods of my life.

 ~ Sherry Lore

Dark Forest

The Scar
(I Know... Mommy, Step-Daddy, Boyfriend and Me)

I don't trust myself 
with a razor today
I might slice to fast, 
I might cut too deep
The bruises are all 
I can give myself now 
a consolation 
of my past memories
Self hate made 
into physical reality
I feel the scar 
pulling at me

I feel your fist punching 
into me, 
no sorries or worries, 
just guilt trips and stories
I see your tears, 
I hear your words, 
you've had it hard, 
you've had it rough, 
you've had the whole world 
against you from the start
Men betrayed you, 
women resent you, 
self-pity and loathing medicate you
Like the only one who can feel rage is you, 
like the only one who should feel ok is you
I know your shame, 
But I feel my own,

and run, the floor pounding against my feet
I stumble into the silence of my own private hell

I smell your breath,
aqua velva, cheep wine and beer, 
I hear your slurred screams, 
BITCH, SLUT, WHORE, CUNT 
I feel the flush, the excitement, the fear, 
I see your face, 
a mask of desire, frustration and rage,
empty and scared, 
like an animal starving and caged
and then feel the vibrations of your fists 
punching empty walls too near
I know your shame, I know your pain
But I feel my own,

and fall, from the top floor of my temple in hell... the dream 
where your chased by the unknown, unseen,
Choose - capture or death... 
capture or death...
Death... 
and 
I 
fall

I feel the hands grabbing hold of me, 
molding me, throwing me
I see your face looming over me, 
threateningly
I feel the loneliness seep into me, 
set me free 
You isolate me from what little sanity 
I have left, 
you steal away my soul
You belittle me, cheat on me, break into me, 
violating all I have or control
I know your shame, 
I know your pain, 
I know your blame
But I feel my own,

and I dive, 
into 
myself 
as far 
as
 I
can
looking for the quiet piece 
within me that still 
holds what little self
 I have left

you took it all, 
So... I search for the silence inside

I can feel the knife cut into me, 
hear my pain, feel my screams
I see the scar, over my heart, 
thudding gently in time
so small, a reminder of all I've endured
 for others shame, 
all I've endured 
for others pain, 
all I've endured 
for others blame.

I know their shame, 
their pain, 
their blame, 

I made it my own
A physically manifest, eternal reminder, 
for ever a part of me, 
mine alone
I made my own

Sherry Lore-December 2002

Storm night

Do you know

Do you know how it feels to be 

yelled at

screamed at

bitch slapped

all that

Hiding in a corner praying that it's over

Do you know how it feels to be 

called names 

shameful things

head games

things you can't bear to hear

Do you know how it is to feel

dirty and unclean

terrified, scared, mean

angry enough to scream

fuck you to all the world and fuck you, to you too

Do you know what it is to feel

like the bad words stick to you

running you all through

ripping at the real you

rip and cut and fuck me too

Do you know how much I just need to take a bath

wash away all the mad 

rinse all the sad

scrub all the bad

be careful you don't wash away, too

Sherry Lore-July 2003